With a little extra time to think and a lot weighing on my mind, I’ve had another shining “ahh ha!” moment.  As a generalized whole, it is not a priority of our society to be kind or hospitable to others.  (I know, my light bulb flickers a bit slowly sometimes, but it is bright nonetheless!)  A few days ago my daily calendar (that I really should read daily because it actually makes me think!) read, “When you are in the final days of your life, what will you want?  When death extends its hands to you, where will you turn for comfort?  Will you hug that college degree in the walnut frame?  Will you ask to be carried to the garage so you can sit in your car?  Of course not.  What will matter then will be people.  If relationships matter most then, shouldn’t they matter most now?”

Recently I have found myself increasingly aware of the kind acts of others.  Gestures as simple as setting aside time to hear my thoughts, letting me into a busy stream of traffic, and offering me a bottle of water before I truly need it have each had their own way of stopping me in my tracks.  In the rush of life, I’m realizing it takes far more cognitive action than it should to consciously be good to others.  And I can’t quite figure out why it’s so difficult.

On the Fourth of July, I listened to the tail end of President Bush’s speech from Fort Bragg, NC, where he urged the country to support our troops.  As a significant other of one of “those troops” soon to visit the great sandbox, I felt the need to do something tangible.  I visited www.americasupportsyou.mil, the Department of Defense’s website with a list of numerous programs and resources for to the support of our military and its families.  After looking around, I was drawn to www.troopcarepackage.com, and I am still excited after receiving the name and contact information for my adopted solider yesterday.  I know how important mail was to Jon on his last cruise, so I can only imagine how wonderful it must feel to receive something from home after spending several months in the desert.  I filled out one of the dreaded customs forms last night and I’m headed to the post office in the morning... hopefully my favorite “friend” (AKA my postal department nemesis who always “helps” me and challenges my diligently penned form) will feel some of the kindness that appears to circulate somewhat thinly in the air.

Once again, my patience has been challenged.  How do I focus on the relationships in my life with an outlook of compassion and kindness instead of irritation or frustration?  How do I make that my first instinct? 

Jon’s training process has caused several instances where the only options for communication were not ideal.  Welcome to the military, right?  The past month has been especially trying, as one miscommunication after another has changed plans so frequently it is difficult to know what tomorrow holds for either of us.  I truly cannot fathom the amount of stress he is experiencing, but in spite of his overwhelming mental and physical exhaustion, he tries so hard to make time for us every day.  I am struggling to build the necessary strength to help him through this next chapter of his career while jumping through some major hoops in my career process as well.  Even in January, when we thought Cuba was the deployment destination, I told him I knew I would have to be stronger than I really wanted to be for us to make it through this while still maintaining our sanity.  Seven months later, I still feel quite a bit of the same sentiment.

As strange as it may sound, making the conscious effort to recognize and rejoice in good deeds is helping me gain and maintain the internal strength I’ve been seeking.  (...and I’m building character, right?)  The journey is still incredibly young, but I feel like the clichéd proverb—I’m on my way because I’ve made the first step.  And what a certain adventure ahead!