I have a theory.  Even though it’s not published in any manual or official training guide, I believe a bit more every day that the military has this tricky little plan to not only send our loved ones to strange and not-always-so-safe places, but also toy with our heartstrings in slightly cruel and unusual ways.  About two weeks ago, Jon and I found out his trip to the giant Middle Eastern sandbox was going to come a few days earlier than expected, so we began trying to prepare for all that was ahead.  Now, over a week after he was supposed to leave and at least four goodbye “attempts” later, I’m still not quite sure if I’ve said my last stateside goodbye for the next year.  (Supposedly he’s on a plane crossing the Atlantic right now, but I won’t believe it until I hear from him on the other side!)  How can such a large and powerful force run with seemingly so little organization?  That’s one thing I’m pretty sure I’ll never understand, but as my dad says, that’s the military!

With all of the changes and readjustments happening in my life right now, I find myself feeling a bit like Mary.  I’ve always been struck by how she dealt with her huge news—pondering everything in her heart.  How could she keep things so big so deep inside?  In the past three months, I’ve graduated from college, gotten engaged, said goodbye to close friends, moved to a much larger and unfamiliar city, accepted and started my first professional position, and sent my fiancé to war—life changes I can hardly say I’m used to.  And in spite of these changes, I’ve only had one sobbing moment, which is quite surprising considering my typical behavioral patterns.  I find myself more introspective than usual, attempting logic and reason rather than resorting to emotional flailing.  I’ve been praying for internal peace for Jon and I for the past several months, and I’d have to say it’s working.  

My mom and I had a big conversation the last time I was home (AKA my only real sobbing moment in this process thus far) and she reminded me of the Bible verse we often hear—to whom much is given, much is required.  But she told me about the second part of the verse many people overlook—to whom much more is given, much more is required.  I have been blessed so abundantly with opportunities I still cannot quite fathom and timing of events that truly transcends any power of my own.  Who am I to complain?!  It’s the balance of the good and bad times in life that make us who we are and help us see the world in a new light every day.